Introduction to a Struggling Pre-Med Student
Howdy, my name is Hannah Mulder. I am from a small city in northeast Texas, named Greenville. My family is made up of my parents, my sister, MaKenzy, and me. We have three dogs, 5 cats, and on occasion, we may or may not have some sort of farm animal. (Pictured here is my mom, me, and my sister. My dad is camera shy, so he is not pictured. Photo by me) (Above is a picture of my dog, Tootsie. Photo by me) I am a biology, pre-medicine major. My immediate goal is to survive this semester and every semester between now and graduation. My ultimate goal is to become an ophthalmologist, specialized in laser eye surgery. I am classified as a freshman meaning a first-year student at OU, but I classify as a junior by hours. Last semester I took Intro to biology: Molecules, cells, and Physiology, Beginning German, and Precalculus: Business, Life, and Social Sciences. My favorite class from last semester was Beginning German. German was my favorite because of the atmosphere. It
Hey Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the modern twist you put on the story of the “Foolish, Timid Rabbit.” With the prevalence of online challenges on social media, this was a really good interpretation of this story. I liked how you portrayed the character of Misty because she seemed like a regular adolescent/teenager who is just going through the motions of life. Also, I liked how you made the lion in the “Foolish, Timid Rabbit” story be portrayed as doctors in real life. I thought that it was brilliant. I noticed that there were some minor typos in the story. I wished that there were some more dialogue between the characters as it seems kind of lacking throughout the story. Also, I wish that we had some dialogue from Misty at the end of the story to see if she was regretting her actions. Overall, really good job and I can’t wait to hear more of your stories.
Hey Hannah,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I like how you made the setting modern. It made it easier for us, your classmates, to understand the background. You put in a real life event that happened, the Tide Pod Challenge. That challenge made me so dumbfounded that people were doing this. People were ingesting poison because it caught on that Tide Pods looked "tasty". Anyways, that idea was genius! For the author's note, I suggest you explain more about the original story of "The Foolish, Timid Rabbit." For example, why was the rabbit foolish and timid? The Tide Pod Challenge did not occur in the original story, so what event did happen? Also, the main point of social media in this story was that there was a trend that was spread by social media. How did the story spread in the original story? Adding the answers to these questions will help greater understanding of your story.
Your classmate,
Joanna
ReplyDeleteHello Hannah, I just wanted to say, I love how your story involves Vines because they were absolutely golden when it existed. Nowadays, I only see short videos on Twitter or Facebook. Having a story that is completely modern just made this one even better! Not only did you use Vines but using people eating Tide Pods is more hilarious! The fact that people actually tried to eat Tide Pods is quite entertaining to me. People who know Tide Pods are dangerous and still eat it are a different type of breed. Anyways, your story was so creative, and I enjoyed your creative characters as the ones in, “The Foolish, Timid Rabbit.” Maybe you could add more information about traditional story since I do not know much about it. Also, maybe add some dialogue in your story because it would have tied it altogether very well! Since your authors note seems to just talk about what you changed in the story and not much of the real story.
Hi Hannah! I really enjoyed reading your version of the traditional story, “The Foolish, Timid Rabbit.” I liked how you added a modern twist to the story about the negative effects of social media on today’s generation. With that being said, I am familiar with the tide pod challenge and I do agree with the stupidity of the challenge.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, you did a great job writing the story while adding your own style to it. I thought the prologue was well-written in guiding the reader to the main plot of the story. I like how everything ties together. However, I do a few suggestions that could improve your storybook. Moreover, I would have liked for there to be more pictures. I also thought you could have included a little bit more information on how dangerous it is to consume tide pods. By doing so, it could also be a way to raise more awareness.
Hannah, your story made me laugh so much because it makes you realize how foolish people are and their willingness to do anything to get attention. In Misty’s case I liked how you related events that really happened in real life to the Foolish, Timid Rabbit. The parallels to the story were evident and I enjoyed that. I really liked how the kids symbolized all of the other animals in the Foolish Rabbit Story. Putting into a real life context makes you realize how susceptible people are and it’s not just a story. Stories definitely entail real life scenarios like this one. I wonder what it would be like if she or no one else participated in it. What would happen to the world if these events never took place and the people weren’t so foolish in the first place. It would be interesting to see what happened to the world in that scenario. Would they be able to deal with it?
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah! I enjoyed reading your story about social media, and going viral. The pressure young kids might feel is very real and your story highlights that. I am too old to have gone through a phase where I desired to go viral. However, I still was able to understand what Misty was going through. Good job on a accomplishing that through your writing. I wonder if she was meant to be the very first person who attempted this pod challenge, and then it went viral? I was a little confused about that. I enjoyed the overall moral of the story. That just because it seems popular it may not be the best decision to make. I also like how you took one of the moral stories we read and created a modern version of that story. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteHey Hannah! I saw your OU vs. TX story and I thought it was very creative. That OU vs. TX rivalry is insane, I would not be surprised if your story might actually happen to some people in real life. First, I loved how you transformed the original story of Drone into a modern-day story in which many people can relate to. When Jade and Hailey began drifting apart as friends, I had a feeling that their friendship was never going to be the same again. The plot of your story and the context is great! Did you have any inspiration behind the characters names? One thing, I wanted to point out is that spelling mistakes within the story. At one point you wrote, "They had their daughters eleven moths apart." Just change moths to months! It is funny how a single spelling mistake changes the whole meaning of the sentence, that gave me a little laugh. Overall, your story was very creative and fun to read.
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah!
ReplyDeleteI love the twists you put on these stories and how you were able to incorporate modern day situations into these ancient Indian Epics! I thought the creation of the tide pod challenge was such a clever idea, and I think how you tied in the different characters was very creative as well. The doctors worked so well as the role of the lion. One thing that I think would make that story stronger is a little bit more explanation and background information as to why she wanted to be famous on social media. Was there an alternate motive? Or just for fun? Your story of Jade and Hailey is funny to me because I actually know a couple of girls whose moms were also best friends in college and had girls the same age who grew up to be best friends. I think that the prologue is helpful but I felt like some of the information overlapped which made it a little confusing. Overall I think you did a great job though!
Hey Hannah!
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I like the layout of your website and the banner images you settled on. They are relevant to the story and the spacing of your paragraphs make it easy to read. My favourite image is actually the banner image for your first story entitled "Viral Trends". I thought it was very creative how you took these two stories and not only made them your own, but also modernised them. One suggestion I have for "Viral Trends" though is that you might put the image information at the end, and let the image speak for itself inside the story. I only suggest this because for me it interrupted the story a bit; I thought it was part of it for a minute! I also wanted to mention that I have not seen anyone use a prologue to start off their story, and I like how you've used them for both stories. If you wanted, you could put them in italics or bold, as it might make each prologue stand out from the main story a bit more in terms of the overall design.
Hi~
ReplyDeleteI like the banner images you used throughout your project. Sometimes the simple images are better for the story than super detailed ones. I do agree with what others have said about in-story images. The descriptions right next to the picture create a bit of a distraction. I have just a few comments for 'The Foolishness of Viral Trends'. Some sentences throughout could use a little diversifying. This week I did the commas and starter elements editing challenge for my story and it really helped get rid of unnecessary commas.
The two Kelly's caught me up in 'OU vs. TX' but that's pretty minor. I probably just need to read a little closer. Good work on your stories so far! The content is entertaining and I hope you're able to wrap up the project nicely.
Hi Hannah. I really liked how in your story of the Crane and the Crab you combined all the different Jatakas. Personally I really enjoy the story of the Crane and the Crab, so I felt bad when the Crab died. It didn't really seem like he was doing anything wrong, but who knows maybe there was collusion with the cranes or something. ORANGE CRAB BAD. Hahahaaha. Anyways very good story, I found it enjoyable. You know, it's interesting that they chose the crab to be the antagonist of the story because crabs aren't really known for their intellect. I think most arthropods (crabs are arthropods, right) are probably pretty dumb.
ReplyDeleteHannah great story! I first off liked the story as a whole. It was really creative to make the story based off something most of us students can relate to. I am sure most students at ou have gone to ou vs Texas or at least have watched the game. I liked the background info you give at the start it made it much easier to tell what was happening from the get-go. One thing that I thought was kind of funny was when they started fighting again at the big twelve championship. I find it hard to believe that 2 former friends could go that crazy at each other over their own schools. I personally have never seen any fighting like that happen over a game, but I suppose it is a very real possibility. Also, great website layout it was done very nicely. I hope you have a good rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteJust checked out your website and am really impressed with it all! I loved the continued flow of the pictures! They were all in the same location on the pages and also had a fade to them. I think just the look and layout of a website is so important in order to keep an audience engaged. To top it off each story had a second picture on down the page. I think those second pics pulled the stories together. They also allowed for the readers to create a more clear vision in their heads of what is being discussed. By you doing this I am really thinking about to doing something similar on my page and just add in that second image towards the end.
Hi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteYour website looks really good. Keeping with this week's feedback theme, I will focus on your images. The overall look of the website is great, but I had a little trouble figuring out what the banner image for the home page when I first looked it. I believe that it is a book, but I would recommend that you use another image of better quality, you might also want to experiment with the sizing of the header by clicking on the "heading type" setting.
I like all of the other banner and story pictures. The pictures that you include in your stories excellent. The only other recommendation is to change the picture to the "Jara" story, to a picture with a higher resolution
Hi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your stories! First, Viral Trends - I like your prologue. I am currently struggling with a way to express the timeframe of my stories to my readers. I think that the way you tackled this problem is very effective.
Did you consider writing the prologue in a satirical Twilight Zone form? Like these here: Opening Narrations
OU vs. TX
I think that there is a bit too much space between the paragraphs in the prologue... In fact now looking at your other stories, I think they could use a little less space between paragraphs. I like the way that you use images as illustrations embedded in your stories.
Jara
This one seems a bit short, but I think that is only because there are so few paragraphs. Maybe you should consider breaking them up a bit. I really like your banner image on Jara.
Your headers are a bit dark, that may be becuase you have the automatic readability on (at the bottom right of the header when you are editing) in which case that can be fixed by turning it off and/or changing the color of your titles. Or if you don't have it on, you can turn it on.
Hello Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI love the way you start your story Jara's Story of Significance. It is very detailed and descriptive. I feel like I am in the story after the first line. When you say in the first couple of lines that Jara was feeling eerie about the whole ordeal, which ordeal are you referring to? I like that for this last story you decided to use an original Indian story from an epic. It reminds me of why we are doing this project. I think the way you have written this story is beautiful. You have very descriptive writing and it makes it very easy to follow along and understand each of the characters. I am disappointed to hear this is your last story because I am interested to see what Jara would have written about Krishna. I wonder if he would have wrote it honestly or changed it to make him sound more godly.
Hi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteThis is the second time I visit your project this semester. I really liked your last story titled "Jara." I thought you gave really good details for the story. The level of imagery your provided was captivating. I think that you could really feel the desperation for the hunter.
The story reminds me of the story from the Ramayana where Rama's father kills a hermit's son in the forest and is cursed to die without his son. I really thought for a second that it was going to based on that story.
Your author's note is very good. You provide the source story in which your story is based upon. You also tell us in great detail how you recreated the story and kept to the original material. I would recommend adding links to the original story both in your author's note and in the bibliography that way the reader can go check out the story if they want.
Hey Hannah, I love the images you have chosen thus far throughout your stories. I think the pictures people choose are very important because they set the story to what a lot of people might expect, and so yours help preview what it is we will be reading about, and I love that! I think your heading picture is nice, but slightly not as clear as it could be, but that can be fixed super quick with the readability feature Google Sites has! Overall, your stories are very interesting, and I think just structuring your paragraphs to extend them would help them be easier to read through, than all at once together. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say I think your portfolio website is cute. I think the images you used were great and are representative of your stories. I also just absolutely loved the amount of creativity you have put into your stories. It is so easy to follow along when you have done an excellent job at modernizing your stories. One thing I might suggest regarding the spacing and structure of your sentences and paragraphs would be to possibly add a little more material. I think this would bring more depth and clarity if anything. But I loved reading all of your stories and your "OU vs. TX" story really stood out to me. It was a very unique spin on Drona and Drupada's once close friendship turning sour. I am sure many people can relate to being extremely close with someone and then going distant over time. I can appreciate the authenticity of the nature of your story and the lesson it brings. I think you did a great job and I look forward to reading more.